Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize