if you like me you must not know who I am
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
