All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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