I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i drank out of a bidet.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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