what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
