Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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