You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
