i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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