i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
