Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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