the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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