he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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