Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
