Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
