if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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