Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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