That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
