I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
