Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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