She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
