There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
