So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
But break dance skills will only take you so far
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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