I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
