after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i out mim tonsoeep
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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