We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
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