The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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