the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It's just like the Real World with babies
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
