i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize