shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
should my penis look like a turkey
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
