Ambien. No doubt about it.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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