erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
