I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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