there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
