I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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