dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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