we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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