I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
