Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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