It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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