The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
