i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
