My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize