Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
