i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
