Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
