I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
