Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
