Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
