If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
