what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
