Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
