Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
