please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
