I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
