I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
