i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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