If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize