After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
