I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
