I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize