what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
