you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
