i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
