We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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