I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
