well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
