I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
