White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
