i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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