I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
