So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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