but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
