OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She bit a glass in half.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
