I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
