if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just found a bag of teeth...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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