Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
